When your heart stirs controversy

I will be the first to admit, I know just enough about politics to be dangerous, but not enough to enact change. I know the highlights of what people stand for, which side of the part line they stand on, and I even follow a few on social media platforms like twitter. This is all pretty new to me, up until about ten years ago, I couldn't be bothered to care about these things. Basically I was living in my privilege and assuming all would be fine because these things didn't really seem to affect me and my day to day life. I was so ignorant, and willfully so. Then, as I got older, I looked around and realized exactly how wrong I had been all those years. Some of my nearest and dearest friends were struggling on the daily to do basic things that I took for granted, because the law impeded their ability to live their lives as they chose. Now- let me go ahead and interject a small tidbit of info on where I stand here. This is NOT a post for people to come at me about religious choices/ beliefs/ and what the Bible says. Everyone has their pulpits that they like to stand behind, and everyone has a stone they are all too happy to throw. I am a Christian and I do believe in the Bible, I also believe in humanity. I believe in loving everyone, not despite things I wish they would change, not despite things I look down on, I just love them top to bottom, through and through, I love them period. I have zero stones to throw, as I am not a perfect person myself. I have zero judgment to dish out, as I am in no way a judge. I am not preaching at anyone, I didn't go to seminary. Ok? You picking up what I am putting down here? So, back to the matter at hand.... I had friends that couldn't get married. Friends who couldn't change their identification marker on their license. Friends who could not adopt. There were so many issues that I had just been blind to, ignorant about, and closing my eyes to. So, I started looking at what I was doing, searching my heart, and spending time trying to see what side of the line I stood on. Not what line I was raised to believe was correct, not where I thought the majority of my friends would stand, just where did I personally feel I should be. I will not lie. This was and still is a hard place for me to find, a hard place to claim as mine, and a shifting sand place to stand. There are times I feel like the most feminist, liberal, Democrat ever. And there are times I am so very conservative and want to put a Republican bumper sticker on my car. I am not firmly rooted at all, to say the least. Yet, my heart cries out to so many, my soul wrenches at the plight of those around me, and my body screams for change at the injustice that others face. Right now, just a few hours from me, there is a place called Tent City where immigrant children are being housed in cages after having been ripped from their parents arms. Just my choice in wording while typing that sentence is controversial. The word "cages" has been highly battled over already this week, debated, fought about. However, it is a steel enclosure, with sides, and a door that is locked with a keypad. It looks like a cage, so that is what I am calling it. It's a cage. Beyond the name of the structure they are being housed in, is the fact that these children are sleeping on flimsy mats, underneath what can only be described as blankets that look like tin foil. Their cries for their parents are heart breaking. Their level of discomfort makes me so uneasy. They have shaken me right out of my privileged seat and made me mourn the loss of hope they surely thought they would find in America. So what is the answer? Do we leave our borders open to anyone and everyone? Do we allow anyone with a child to seek refuge and stay? Do we send the children back with their parents to whatever was so horrible that they risked their lives to escape? I really don't have answers. I have opinions, but so does everyone else, and they really aren't changing anything. They are just words. Mentally, I can not wrap my head around how it could be legal to separate these children from their parents. What authority are we standing on to house these children? Some are saying these children, right now, have it better in this temperature controlled environment than they ever have before. They are being fed. They are safe. I hear this, BUT, they don't have their parents. Yes, they may be fed, but they don't have their parents. When people have grown up without basic necessities, grown up in fearful situations where nothing is ever taken for granted, their family is often the only constant they have. These people came here with nothing. There is not telling what all they had to endure along the way just to arrive here, and as soon as they crossed that border, we took away the only constant those children have ever known. We ripped them right out of their parents arms. Just imagine that. Many have been told fairy tale like stories about how America will be this Happily Ever After for them, some were probably even told these stories on their way here. Then they arrive, expecting this safety, and they are thrown in a cage. Some do not even speak the language, so they must be terrified. I didn't sleep much at all last night after the video of them was released. My soul just couldn't settle. My family was in arms reach, I was in my own four walls that I know so well, and surrounded by all my things, and I felt shaken. I wanted to risk prison, or worse, to drive down there and try to break these babies out of this Tent City. I know. I was quite delusional at 2 am.... I am not exactly a justice fighting super hero in my mom wagon that doesn't go over 70 mph very easily. But hey, I wanted change! I wanted justice! I wanted to fix this and fix it now. So, how is that done? Seriously, anyone, tell me, how do we fix this? What can be done on a person to person level. Everyone is posting on social media that we should each reach out to our representatives and demand this be stopped. I think that sounds great, but what then? What happens next? I honestly want to know.

MUAs and My Obsession

Y'all, I have been watching these MUA videos a lot lately. (Make Up Artists, I know... I had to look it up too.) I am pretty sure I have even crossed the line into becoming obsessed with these videos. I legit will watch them every day, but I only watch a handful of people, so I basically watch the same people every day when they go live or post new content. For most people, this would be a little much, a tad over the top.... but then you add the fact that it is me, and it takes a turn. I become flipping invested in these people. Do you know what I mean? How many of you can identify with that after you have invested so much time into a series like Grey's Anatomy, or The Handmaid's Tale (ooo... that's another story for another time)? I mean, we all do right? We cried when George wrote 007 in Meredith's hand before he died. We threw the remote and cursed at Shonda Rhimes when McDreamy died and then swore to never watch again (even though we shamefully crawled back to the couch the next season anyway). So, I figured becoming invested in these MUAs is really just normal, over the top, Candice behavior..... until this weekend... then it all went south. One of the people I watch had a birthday, and I lost my ever loving, mind. I sent the girl a birthday present like I actually freaking knew her. On top of the fact that I already buy every darn thing the girl recommends for making her face look so flawless. CANDICE. STOP. She is 27 years old. TWENTY FREAKING SEVEN with porcelain skin, and blonde hair. I, however, am closer to 40, dark hair, and my skin is olive complexion. OBVIOUSLY what works for her will not necessarily work for me. But does that stop me? Heck no! This MUA said it is the most amazing thing since sunshine, so, I HAVE to buy it. So what makes this so funny is that I am not one of those overly girly people. I don't wear a ton of makeup, I don't play with my hair, or worry about fashion.... it is just not me. Yet somehow, I have enough makeup to open my own Ulta. I am subscribed to a makeup brush monthly delivery service. Until last year, I think I had maybe two brushes total... one for blush, and one for eyes. It's all so ridiculous. Even more so because... I LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME AS I DID WITHOUT ALL THIS MESS! All of this being said, let's get to the point. These videos bring me joy. These purchases bring me joy (because you never know.... it really might be the best thing ever). These purchases even bring my boys joy... as they laugh and make fun of me for having yet ANOTHER box waiting on our doorstep from UPS when we get home at the end of the day. It even helps me stay bonded with my mom, because I get to facetime her and tell her all of the hits and misses that I have recently purchased. So, I am not stopping any time in the near future...unless hubby cuts me off >GASP!< There really was no other reason for talking about this other than, why not?! I haven't blogged in forever, and there isn't anyone that reads this, so I am considering this my MUA shopping addiction confession. The internet isn't a priest, and I'm not Catholic, but surely this counts right?