perfection vs reality

Being on Facebook is new to me- I have put it off for a very long time for reasons such as I am encountering today. All of these wonderfully perfect people who I went to school with back in the day, that are still wonderfully perfect and so perfectly content with all of their life choices and how things have turned out. Do you know the kind of people I am talking about? The ones that literally poop gold and wake up looking flawless every morning of their lives?

Meanwhile there is me... hmmmm. Lets see... my wonderful husband, whom I love very much, was very artistic when we met. I mean so talented and still is, but the closest I get to seeing an artist today is when his 2 year old son takes off his diaper and paints with his poop on the wall. Yeah, it's gross but hey it happened so there it is.
And that perfectly tanned body that I just HAD to have all through my twenties and teens? Well now I look like frosty the snowman because everytime I walk NEAR the sun I get freckles. And I don't just mean cute little barely there freckles, I mean massive amounts of really dark freckles.
And having children... I know they are a blessing don't get me wrong... but COME ON! Does my body serously have to change THIS much? I had my daughter when I was 18 and literally walked out of the hospital in my jeans I wore before. Now I am 30 have had 2 boys back to back (13 months apart), and nothing is as it should be on my body any more. Lets talk stretchmarks.... REALLY? Whoever decided to call them "badges of honor" must have been a male because all they are is a ticket to a one piece bathing suit for the rest of my life! And my poor hips, those will never be fitting into a size 6 or lower ever again. And lets get real honest here- there is this new addition to my body called a side-butt. No kidding- I am not a large person by any means but what others call love handles I call my side butt. It's like my blessed Curry butt that was too big to begin with decided to keep growing up and over on to my sides. no matter how small everything else gets it's there and oh my gosh that is just not fair! My husband gains twenty pounds and it's acceptable. I gain twenty pounds and feel like I am being carted off to the hefer show to win grand prize.
So anyway- I got a friend request today from a lovely little size two busy body that I went to highschool with. We werent friends in highschool- we haven't kept touch- why would I befriend her now? Answer: to torture myself by seeing that not only has she also had children, but she lives in a MASSIVE house, with a hot hot husband, she doesn't work, and is still a perfectly groomed size two looking thirty year old. Lovely- so very happy for you.

So I have signed off of facebook for the day and am going to focus on something positive- like ummmm.... aww screw it that just isn't my personality. Let's be real I will probably mope for a while, then clean house and change diapers and do laundry and wonder what I really signed up for and where is my magic nanny?!